Saturday, July 29, 2006; 9:42 PM
{scary...}
i got a shock last night/.. i feel myself being a pillow to something.. something i dint know..
maybe too streess ba.. haha
well actually i'm too tired to blog le..maybe update more tml or mon ba=)
byebye
sorry for this short post..
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Thursday, July 27, 2006; 8:57 AM
{i all alone again..}
dear frens.. if u happened to see this post can tag?? cos i'm feeling really lonely now.. i guess they not coming again.. sigh.. i'm really sad..
i guess i'm the kind who'll always need someone by my side.. except when iam at work.. but work because i have kids with me ma.. so they pei me chat chat also.. haha..
i guess this is me ba.. i'm born in this family where i'm the eldest daughter and the eldest sister.. so parents are exceptionally strict with mem and my sibling rely on me .. tt's the most tiring thing.. i couldnt depend on anyone aty home.. cos my parent dun undersdtand wat i'm doing.. even my mum dunno.. dun mention my dad..my siblings?? they are just kids.. who think tt i know everythingand have all the time int he world to listen to them.. but the prob is.. i'm not wat they think i'm/..
my sis say i'm childish and like to act cute..sigh. u think i want?? i need to gie siao to getaway.. i cry because i'm mature enuff to think tt throwing things and shoutng at everyone is not the solution to the prob.. i just plainly think tt crying is the way to vent my frustration and fear.. and minimise hurt to the lowest,,
sigh..
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Monday, July 24, 2006; 10:02 PM
{无奈.无助.无能.}
无奈.无助.无能.this are the feelings i have now..
i tried to borrow laptop from people.. but it seems like nobody will ever lend another a laptop.. sigh..
the comp keep hanging.. and its damned slow.. and it DAMN slow..sigh.. i'm alredy slow enuff u know..
i am sad.. really sad.. i scared i cant finish on time.. i dun wanna fail and retain.. i dun wanna waste my parent's money..really..
nobody can describe my feeling now.. really..i know some people are worse than me.. so i 'll hang on.. i wont complain again.. this is the last time..
alrite backk to work..=)
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{无奈.无助.无能.}
无奈.无助.无能.this are the feelings i have now..
i tried to borrow laptop from people.. but it seems like nobody will ever lend another a laptop.. sigh..
the comp keep hanging.. and its damned slow.. and it DAMN slow..sigh.. i'm alredy slow enuff u know..
i am sad.. really sad.. i scared i cant finish on time.. i dun wanna fail and retain.. i dun wanna waste my parent's money..really..
nobody can describe my feeling now.. really..i know some people are worse than me.. so i 'll hang on.. i wont complain again.. this is the last time..
alrite backk to work..=)
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Sunday, July 23, 2006; 9:57 AM
{i miss u all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}
ping! wend ! manda! stacy! janet! meiyun!
i miss u all man.. haha..=P
wend say she tried calling me on wed.. but i din pick up.. sorry wend.. think i'll call her today=)hehe..
sorry guys.. think i wont be able to meet up with u al so frequently le.. my project sux and i'm trying to make up for lost time.. cos i calculated how much time i would take, at my fastest speed.. and i would only complete my project on the 12th.. my god,.. despite being at my fastest speed.. i can only complete my project 2 days before submission.. and its without printing.. oh god...
but if meet for dinner, meet at near near place.. no prob=) hehe..
this is no life..
i guess everyone have been in this stage of minor depression.. its very disturbing.. cos u keep crying without any reason.. just thinking why ur life is so sadded.. rushing and rushing .. and still have to see tt sickening lecturer almost everyday.. the prssure tt the lecturer once gave me was unbearable.. and i hated him..until xiao ran talk to me then i realise.. i can do better without him..yes..
on fri,before we left.. i axctually wne tover to touch his model.. its just nice.. pretty.. neat.. he must be a xi xin de nan ren to do this..*blush=p i went to celebrate my colleague's birthday we went to k box and i was actually the youngest there.. ...
not fun.. but for the szake of my friend.. sigh..i din sleep, and i drank liquor.. mean hard liquor with tea or coke.....luckily i wasnt drunk..
haha.. my god... i need support..
jia you all my friends..=)
*jackie.. cherish the one u love..=)
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Friday, July 21, 2006; 3:23 PM
{i'm just too tired..}
i guess i'm too tired today. i slept at 4am the night b4..in the afternoon was quite devastating because of my quarrel with my mum and sis.. i broke down.. finally.. and cried.. there was no one i can turn to.. in the house.. outside..the comp hanged and my stuff all gone.. it was a cruel fat yet there wasntany backup.. sigh........but then continue to work on the old lao ya comp because i dun wanna rely on my sis.. i guess its better to be on my own..so worked the files back.. then then woke up at 9 plus to find out that i'm late for school..but nevertheless.. i still went to school..
ok .. i was in school and i saw the lecturers.. ok i got something to show them..but it wasnt my turn.. so i went to chat chat with xiao ren..i guess i need to have a good talk.. i told her what happened and cried..brokedown too.. haha... but she listened.. which i'm grateful for tt=)
then i went home and after dinner i went to sleep.. at 7pm and then my siblings they actually came into my room to wake me up at 12am with their chatting..kao..i cant sleep after tt.. so stayed up all the way to 6 this morning.. sian,,,
ok.. so bath, went to school.. i'm damned sleepy now..and i'm the only one in my class staying till this time.. tonight stil gotta celebrat william's birthday... sigh.. i'm broke too...
haha.. tt's all..=)
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006; 10:07 AM
{wednesday,, another day for rest.. but..}
today's wed again.. hehe.. and i'm gonna rush overnight again.. sigh..
i hope i can rush it out in time..
i'm going to jia you..
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Monday, July 17, 2006; 10:22 PM
{i wanna lose weight.. wahaha...}
i wanna lose weight!!!sigh.. i saw him how many times?? thrice!! can u imagine like everytime i go out of my studio i see him.. and everytime i come back i see him??everytime i have to force out the awkward smile and blush after he walk past me.. oh my god...
ok.. i've been very very very very stressed out the past few days.. until i dun even wanna blog.. dun even wanna see the comp.. so i went out to my cousin's house and had a great day with them=)love them to bits!!
ok.. so i ate and ate for 4 days!! ok.. so i felt i have enough rest le.. so now i'll jia you and start work again=).. no prob de.. i can do it de!!!
somehow feel tt nowadays my frens are not with me.. feel quite down sometimes.. really.. just wished tt my frens.. my sec school frens could be with me.. so tt i can lean on them..
really.. just sad ba.. tt everyone has got their own stuff to do .. therefore they cannot possibly always be there for me=(.. but i know de... for my sec school frens, we'll stay frens for more than 10 yrs de.. cos i trust them=)
ok.. i know somethings cannot be rushed.. but i really wish.. to have someone there for me.. to let me cry on his shoulder to share happiness and sad days with me.. hopefully i can find him=)and hope its him..
wahaha...
anyway.. thurs is the submission for t2 floor plans.. oh my god.. haven even finish cad for t2a... hoe to do work?? so i'm gonna burn midnight oil le.. wish me luck ba=)
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Friday, July 14, 2006; 1:56 PM
{}
sigh...i think i suffering from overstressed..
why ah>> yesterday i had a good talk with xiaoran.. on the phone.. then realise that my stress came from 3 sides..
leh***-this lecturer haven been doing his part for this half a yr.. i dunno whether my project is on the right track.. just so scared tt my effort wil go down the drain..
this good fren of mine- she have not contacted me for more than 5 days. i think she's either enjoying her time too much to care for me or else something is happening in her house.. so i guess i 'll choose to believe the second one.. and hope she's fine..
family- i wanted to go to my autie's house to stay and play with her kids to destress.. but mym mum dun allow at all.. sigh...
thanx xiao ran for talking sense into me ast night..
i'm still having this stupid headache that had been there for almost a week.. scare it might be brain tumore or something..
i admit i've been acting weird.. sorry
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Tuesday, July 11, 2006; 6:29 PM
{hope tml will be better..}
yeah!! today he chatted with me again.. hmm.. no la.. i went over and saw him so say hi lo.. hehe.. then chatted a while.. feel so happy!!!! but today whole day i slack in school..sigh.. din do anything.. how ah??i also dunno..haha.. but i definitelt will produce the mass models de..
this lecturer call leh***.. really feel like slaaping him.. i think he dun care bout me at all.. he dun bother to look at me.. din bother to ask me how i'am doing.. i'm very scared to go and ask him cos scared he'llask me to change eveyrthing.. sigh...i dun care la.. i know i can do it without him too..=)
tml is my off day.. haha.. wanna go buy some material in the morning.. actually is wanna sing k de.. realy wanna go and vent frustration b4 i start my work..
meiyun haven contacted me for 5 days le.. i wonder how;s she.. i really think tt she dun care bout me.. i hope i'm not thinking too much.. but i have no one to depend on in school.. i cant possibly stick to jackie always.. cos he got chantal also..sigh.. and when i join shiqi they all i feel very guilty cos i always reject their offer to go lunch with them but they always pei me go home when i'm alone.. really thank them=)heee..
oh ya!! met up with stacy yesterday finally!! so so happy!!.. we met up after school and went to eat mos burger.. had a good good chat found out that actually both of our clicks in secondary school were shocked tt both of us still in contact with each other..hehe.. i mean.. why not??we stay so near each other..and we're close fren wat.. hehe..
next target.. is to meet up with manda!! and wendy..hehe
hmm.. luckily i got massing model for t2a le.. so now i only gotta mass for t2b.. but its just so hard.. cos i cant think straight now also..
*i hope me and my frens,family, and him stay this way.. just this way is good enuff for me=)
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Monday, July 10, 2006; 10:27 PM
{wat the...}
wat the....sigh.. today lehinign say thurs need to have 2 1:200 model.. t2a t2ab
sian..
i'm stressed la.. damn stresss.. head pain.. feel like puking...
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Friday, July 07, 2006; 7:26 PM
{i wanna sing k!!!!!!!}
haha.. i really wanna sing k la.. sigh.. tml cannot cos hann zai, wend, manda,keyun,xuelin they all not free neh.. sigh... nvm.. sure got chance de!!=)
hmm.. today only wnet to school in the morning.. then afternoon go home le.. i wanna fail my gems.. cos i 'm totally not interested in this gems.. and i did something very wrong to my grp members in gems.. i actually missed the presentation because i got migrane and took an mc... but my 2 other grp members din go too..in the end i also dunno wat happened..
ok... actually i wonder whether people got read or not.. haha.. maybe they dun care ba.. but thanx wendy!! haha.. cos she's my regular reader!!!
hmm.. really wanna go sing k la.. with one or two good close frens also can.. wanna sing my heart out be4 i go and do my t2b..=(
lately i'm disappointed with this fren of mine... dun wish to talk more.. hope this is temporary..
i love my mummy,daddy, and siblings..=)
haha.. wonder why i say this??cos today liping ask me oput of my siblings which one i dote on the most..then i say i dote on the elder brother.. haha.. actually i wont practice favoutism la.. haha..tt's why i say i love all of them=)
boring post.. hehe...recently love this song by gary cao ge.. gua mu xiang kan.. nice nice!!=)
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Thursday, July 06, 2006; 8:14 PM
{ok.. i like him..}
haha.. yesterday whole day whole night never sleep.. damn sleepy.. working on my model.. stupid leh*** i tot it was the final model.. so do until very jia lat.. then in the end people din do anything also ok.. if i known earlier i wont do all le.. then still people like "woaaa.. u very hardworking leh.." kns.. if i not hardworking then who's gonna help u when work submission??sigh..
today finally saw him.. haha.. and is b4 i left..i like the way he smile when he see me.. haha.. managed to exchange a few phrase with him.. sometimes i wish i can be as slim as deon.. then i 'll definitely be brave enuff to confess.. and even if i fail i'll still have more confidence..sigh,..
i wish i can slim down..=(
ok.. if i still like him at the end of yr 3 then i will make a confession no matter wat.. haha.. fan zheng bi ye le if response not good wont be awkward.. wahaha
ok.. that's a deal..=)
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Tuesday, July 04, 2006; 9:10 AM
{i'm alone now..}
sigh.. alone in school now.. hope jackie they all come today.. if not i very lonely .. haha.. all i can say is. home is a very good but not so nice place to do model.
i prefer school when i have a big big table.. haha.. so i dun need to do on the floor...
finished only a part of the first level.. gotta buck up alredy.. i can sense danger actually.. haha..
hmm..took a cab to sschool today.. my god.. damn ex.. if i had known i take train.. cos it cost me 14 bucks and jam.. and the uncle actuall y dozed off!! my god..
sigh sigh sigh./....
they say sigh one time old 3 yrs.. i dunno.. haha.. maybe ba.. cos i got more and more white hair le.. haha.. like highlight..today gotta repay 54 bucks to jackie, and 59 to meiyun.. gosh.. i owe people so muchi also dunno..
ok.. back to work!!=)
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Monday, July 03, 2006; 3:08 PM
{sigh,,,i'm tired..}
i'm tired of looking after people le.. i wan people to look after me.. i just want someone to love me, care for me.. tt's all.. its just so simple but difficult at the same time..
i wanna be able to be late for 15 min without waiting for people.. i wanna be able to throw my head onto a person's shoulders when i'm sad or tired.. i wanna go out witht he person shop around freely.. sit down, eat...
yup.. so simple..
yupo btw.. sat fred's birthday was fun=) at least i enjoyed it.. haha..there was alot of food.. i mean.// alot...haha.. be4 tt i went to meiyun's house to do freds present.. haha.. luckily the present turned out fine=)
yeah!! i got my pocket money le!!! hahayesterday me and ping went to sing k with hann zai and ke yun..=) its was real fun.. hehe...
now gotta go back to my model le.. i must jia you!!!=)
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Praise You In This Storm - Casting Crowns
I was sure by now God you would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
that it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear your whisper through the rain,
I'm with you
and as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And i'll praise you in this storm
and i will lift my hands
that you are who you are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
you hold in your hand
you never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
you heard my cry you raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find you
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear you whisper through the rain
I'm with you
and as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
Chorus
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Chorus